So, finally got out of Eindje, onto the freeway… the term ‘free’way is not a term that can be used in The Netherlands. Our roads are never-ever free… they are busy, cluttered and clogged up with shitty drivers. So I got on to the busyway, and then my stomach realized I haven't eaten properly that day. (a bowl of cereal in the morning, two coffee and a Snickers in the afternoon…)
I wasn’t gong to make it without fainting to Rotterdam. I need food fast! I need fast-food, I need a McDrive!
Now the funny thing about MickeyD’s is that you’re (almost) always in the mood for a McDonalds meal.Which is strange because it’s never-ever satisfying after you have thrown the last bite of your hamburger back in its package... Your still hungry, but now you can't eat anymore because you have that Infamous McStomachache…
MCD is like a drug. You know it’s bad for you. You know you will regret it, but it’s irresistible at times..
Thus, this hamburger-craving-fastfood-junkie was anxiously trying to spot those 'Golden Arches'… When you don’t need a McD., there everywhere, when you do need them... you have to drive for about 46km tot finally spot a sign of the burger giant!! A big-ass billboard with a delicious looking hamburger! (Not that the real deal ever remotely looks like the image, but this one looks amazing! In all fairness… At this point even road kill looks eatable.)
Anyways. Normally Billboards always say which exit there is a Mac. But I’ve almost past the board and couldn't find an indication of an exit anywhere on the board. I guess this was just billboard advertising the new burger… crap..
Then disaster struck… a yellow M in the sky!.. But at the other side of the highway.. and I’ve just passed the exit while focussing on the billboard on my left side!!! Come on Ronald M.!! Start you billboard with huge letters saying “THIS EXIT!” and then your stupid burger!!
Morale in the StudentCar was low at this point.. I was grumpy… all songs on the radio where stupid, the jokes of the DJ were lame, other people were terrible drivers…
Anyways, no yellow ‘M’ for at least 45 more kilometres! FINALLY, at Dordrecht a McDonalds. I could hear my stomach cheer with excitement!
Time to order!
-- Side note: Now my friends know I’m the kind of guy, who likes to try new stuff. I always fall for 'the new tasty burger in town'. Unfortunately 90% of the time they suck and I’m eating a filthy burger with a soggy chiabata bun or whatever and a weird sauce, while my friends are enjoying their safe ‘Quarter Pounder’… But that evening I couldn’t afford a mistake like that... I’m going for a classic. Haven’t had a Big Mac for a while but they have always treated me well.--
Thus, this hamburger-craving-fastfood-junkie was anxiously trying to spot those 'Golden Arches'… When you don’t need a McD., there everywhere, when you do need them... you have to drive for about 46km tot finally spot a sign of the burger giant!! A big-ass billboard with a delicious looking hamburger! (Not that the real deal ever remotely looks like the image, but this one looks amazing! In all fairness… At this point even road kill looks eatable.)
Anyways. Normally Billboards always say which exit there is a Mac. But I’ve almost past the board and couldn't find an indication of an exit anywhere on the board. I guess this was just billboard advertising the new burger… crap..
Then disaster struck… a yellow M in the sky!.. But at the other side of the highway.. and I’ve just passed the exit while focussing on the billboard on my left side!!! Come on Ronald M.!! Start you billboard with huge letters saying “THIS EXIT!” and then your stupid burger!!
Morale in the StudentCar was low at this point.. I was grumpy… all songs on the radio where stupid, the jokes of the DJ were lame, other people were terrible drivers…
Anyways, no yellow ‘M’ for at least 45 more kilometres! FINALLY, at Dordrecht a McDonalds. I could hear my stomach cheer with excitement!
Time to order!
-- Side note: Now my friends know I’m the kind of guy, who likes to try new stuff. I always fall for 'the new tasty burger in town'. Unfortunately 90% of the time they suck and I’m eating a filthy burger with a soggy chiabata bun or whatever and a weird sauce, while my friends are enjoying their safe ‘Quarter Pounder’… But that evening I couldn’t afford a mistake like that... I’m going for a classic. Haven’t had a Big Mac for a while but they have always treated me well.--
“A supersize Big Mac menu with sauce and an Ice tea please!”, “That will be a million euros, please pay at window #1” "Thanks!"
Yes! Victory! A Big Mac menu.. at 6:30 pm
at 6:35pm, ideal set up of fast food in car (see picture for instructions)
at 6:45pm, all gone. Except the last bite of the burger of course... Actually it was a big mess. BigMac’s can’t be eaten with just one hand. It’s even a challenge with two hands. They should call it a BigMess…
at 6:55pm, I was hungry again and was starting to get some stomach cramps.
They got me again… and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it… those bastards…
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| The perfect McDrive set-up (instructions below) |
Turns out the Toyota Aygo is the perfect McDrive car!
The perfect set up conducted with the empirical method:
- Cup holder 1. The fries. Medium or large fries, not the small one with the paper package
- Cup Holder 2. Your soda
- The clutch: Place your first napkin on the clutch to keep the grease off (mandatory in a StudentCar!)
- The little compartment in front of the clutch is excellent for the sauce!
- The burger goes on your lap, obviously.
- The second napkin on your steering wheel for those greasy reasons.
